Friday, December 28, 2007

Twenty-five Years Ago

Twenty-five years ago today, I had five children, the youngest one just one-year-and-twelve-days old. I did not know I was pregnant again, but found out when I miscarried late in the morning. Charming was with a friend, but out of reach by phone (oh, those days before cell phones--this would not be a problem today!).

I called a neighbor-church friend, who was not home, but whose husband was. He took me to the doctor's office, and stayed in the car with my five and his baby, while I was being tended to. My doctor told me I had been eight weeks along. I wondered how *that* could have happened without my knowing, as I was always uber-sick. He told me that at the point where the embryo divides into baby/placenta, the baby died, and the placenta grew until my body rejected it.

Oh, how Psalm 139 became real to me on that day:

" 15My substance was not hid from Thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in Thy book all my days were written...when as yet there were none of them."

Whatever His reasons, my baby fulfilled [his] purpose, living the entire life-span God had ordained. I did not even know of [his] existence, but it gave God joy to know [him]. And...I get to meet him (or her) one day!

One final benefit--my son MacGuyver was born nine months and sixteen days later, and I know that I could not have had him, had my littlest one survived. God, in His wisdom, however, has made it possible for me to have them both!

If you have experienced a loss, please be encouraged that God was not taken by surprise. Your little one is Safe. And you, too, can look forward to the Someday when you are reunited!

"17How precious are Thy thoughts unto me. O God! how great is the sum of them!"

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

Ah, Mommy. I very much remember that. I don't remember sitting in the car, but I remember your loss. It was a surreal experience, because I knew what the other times were like when you were pregnant, but this didn't make any sense.

In recent years I have thought several times about that time, now that I am old enough to really imagine it. I love you.