Thursday, September 03, 2009

If Women Weren't Around to Civilize Men, They Would Never Shower and They Would Just Stand Their Jeans in the Corner of The Cave Every Night.

You may have observed around Playoff time in any professional sport, the custom of say, an entire team not shaving from the beginning of playoffs until the World Series or the Super Bowl or the NBA Championship or Stanley Cup or whatever. Little quasi-superstitious customs that ensure "good luck." I personally a) never understood the concept (do female athletes do this?) and b) never actually observed a quantifiable difference in the results. I mean, if both teams refuse to shave, how does "luck" improve? And, plenty of times, the Cubs completely-random-teams don't win, anyway.

That brings me to Alvin Fernald's freshman football team.

Now, our high school is designated 4A. Schools in our state are rated by their student population. Several high schools in our city are ranked 5A, two of them having over twice as many students as S.S.H.S. You also need to know that our school has three teams: varsity, junior varsity, and freshman. Varsity teams play Friday nights, j.v. plays the same opponent the following Monday, and freshmen the following Thursday.

Last week, Alvin was third-string QB and first-team Special Teams. We played my alma mater, B.D. The varsity lost to them, but the freshmen won, for the first time in four years! Alvin was instrumental in two plays, one of which he ran 60 yards to tackle a guy, stopping an Imminent Touchdown in the process.

Now to This Week. Last Friday night, S.S.H.S. BEAT Uber-Rival The-Other-"S"-School. (we can't bear to say their name.) This school has 5000 students (SSHS has 1500). This was a Big Upset. In addition, during last week's freshman game, 1st-string QB busted his finger, and 2nd-string QB broke his collarbone. This set up Alvin to be 1st-string against Uber-Rival. (did I mention that Uber-Rival has Two freshman teams?) Unfortunately (or may his Mommy say "fortunately"?) 1st-String guy only jammed his finger and may start. But, certainly, Alvin will get playing time.

Now to the Superstition part. All team members and cheerleaders and coaches and such, always wear their jerseys (or uniforms) to school on Game Day. Last night, Alvin brought home his jersey. This is the same Number 10 that the varsity guy wore Friday night. It smelled foul, people, FOUL. Not just body odor, maybe they put-it-away-wet and there was some mildew involved, as well. I offered to Launder it for Alvin: "OH, NO, Mom, can't do that! We BEAT "S" school in that jersey!"

As the evening progressed, we noticed the jersey more and more. Finally, even Alvin couldn't stand it any more: "OKAY, Mom, let's wash the jersey. I have to wear it to school all day, and there are GIRLS!"

Yet another instance of Women Civilizing Men.

On a serious note, I, MOM, am completely concerned about Injuries. Would you take a little moment and pray for Alvin today?

(I'll let you know how it turns out tonight. Go Archers!)


Inglesidemom said...

EEEEEWWWWW! See, I will homeschool forever simply based on that story. ;-)

And, yes, I prayed for Alvin!


Anonymous said...

ok, THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!! I did ACTUALLY laugh out loud! Thanks for the story!-Forget-me-not